I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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