So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
