What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
