nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
