Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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