Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
