But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
