So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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