Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
