Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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