He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
