people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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