i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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