Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
