I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
