They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Someone came in the potted fern
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
