he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
