last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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