i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
