The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
