it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
