i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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