I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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