I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i think i just lost a toe
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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