And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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