Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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