so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
