My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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