All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
