YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
operation harelip BJ is a go
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
