this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
