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Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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