We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
