Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
