Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
