Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
