Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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