Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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