i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Bring me that man meat
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
