the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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