it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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