Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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