Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
