Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
