This is not my ceiling
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
