ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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