I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That accounts for only three of the penises
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
