The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
