i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
