The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
