Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
