Dual....:-)
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
