I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
