I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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