i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
